Osho says it best, “Love is the mirror”. When you gaze into the eyes of another you not only see their soul but you see your own as well. When you fall in love with another, you are falling in love with yourself. I literally mean that in some way, we reflect back to one another parts of our self as if we are a mirror for one another’s growth.
These parts of self could be one’s that need to be loved or cared for. It could be aspects of self that want attention or healing, or that need to be accepted as they are. It might be unresolved anger, rage, disappointment, addictions, sadness, depression, mental illness, the list goes on. When we look at someone close to us we see a reflection of our own beliefs and struggles in life no matter how obvious or subtle they are.
When we choose love ourselves, we choose to be present for it. If we keep running from true intimacy with ourselves how will we ever nurture those relationships that matter the most? If having a relationship with another is something that scares us too much then maybe doing a little mirror work with yourself at home is a good start.
This last year I dedicated myself to being single and to date so I could reflect more on what I want in a partner and where I need to grow myself. In that process I continually kept coming across the same pattern. At first I would to fall into victim mode wondering why certain situations would happen to me, but then I remembered. In this process of dating I was being shown parts of myself that needed to be discovered so I could explore them more.
Mirror play, taught by Louise Hay, suggests that although it may not completely change you in 3 weeks, saying loving affirmations to yourself in the mirror for that amount of time will bring about positive results. When I was in school I was challenged to say loving affirmations to myself in the mirror. They asked us to kiss, hug and massage parts of our bodies while also looking in the mirror, making eye contact and saying positive things to ourselves.
What I found interesting in this exercise is where I felt the most uncomfortable, I felt that same discomfort with partners for years and always wondered why. I finally got to see that it wasn’t the people I had dated or partnered with that made me anxious, it was me and my own discomfort with being vulnerable. HUGE DISCOVERY! The more I did this exercise the more comfortable I got and now have an easier time accepting loving affirmations from those I connect with, what a change!
In my last blog I talked a little bit about having awareness. Well, to recap, awareness is when we watch everything, almost as if we are taking a step outside of ourselves to watch how we perceive the world around us. If we can step out of that victim role and become more curious we may begin to see the places where we can grow. It is there that we can take that opportunity to love ourselves even deeper.
Love is the mirror, love is when we can look at another and see ourselves. Love is unconditional, its accepts us all where we are. Love lets us live as we are and shines to us opportunities for growth and deeper intimacy. Love is our greatest potential and is limitless in what comfort it provides. Now it’s time to play a little, go look in that mirror, hug yourself and start saying ‘I love you’.
Blessings on your journey,
XO
Tika
Trust Tika 